Month: August 2015

We decided to have a CT scan and skip the biopsy, which was semi invasive, and probably would not have altered our treatment plans either way. We are very happy we did it this way, as at least now she doesn’t have to spend precious energy healing from the biopsy (surgery). The results of the CT were not good. The surgeon does not have the margins he needs to get the entire tumor, putting the chances of less that 50% for a curative surgery even if it were an isolated tumor.

On top of that, a nearby lymph node looks like it probably (75-80% chance) has cancer in it as well…meaning metastasis has started. Upon further questioning, our oncologist summed it up as once it’s in the lymph nodes, it “on the highway”. Radiation is a semi-viable treatment option, but would require 3-4 trips of 4-5 hours (seriously…we live in Seattle and I need to drive to Portland or Pullman…unbelievable). This in itself isn’t a showstopper, but because it’s likely affecting a nerve, the odds that it will dull the pain significantly are low (somewhere in the 20-40% range), and even if it did, we’re looking at 3-4 months. Not to mention the risk of colitis if we make it more than a few months.

We could continue to grasp at straws, but the long term prognosis is grim, which brings me to what really matters. NOW! It’s ridiculously hard not to be overwhelmed by the idea that my baby will probably not be here for the holidays, and I can’t say I am great at this yet. But this is Osa’s gift to us. She’s helping us realize that we need to focus on what is truly important, the only thing that we really have control over. Today, as in right now, this very moment! She has helped me realize that I have spent far too much time focusing on things like retirement, a potential future vacation home, trips to far off destinations, stock portfolios, promotions at work, social media, etc. Those things deserve some thought, for sure, but not at the cost of being truly present with my family, my beautiful wife, kids, and dogs. That’s the beauty of dogs, they don’t give a rip about tomorrow, probably don’t even understand the concept. That’s the gift that Osa is sharing with me. It’s a hard lesson, but also a beautiful one.

Here are some photos of my professor in the moment. On that note, I’m out!

After the initial shock had worn off, we got to work. What is bone cancer, is it a death sentence? Can we fight it or is this the end? What the hell is a Tripawd…oh I get it, that’s cute. WAIT, WHAT, cut off her leg, are you freaking kidding me!?!

As most of you know, these are the things that you wrestle with once you come out of the fog of a cancer diagnosis. We are still gathering information, but we know a heck of lot more than we did, and as they say – knowledge is power. Problem is, knowledge also means you start to understand that you will have to make choices and answer soul searching questions. Not easy everyday choices and questions, but like, really mind-bendingly hard ones.

Choices and questions like;

• Should we accept that this is the end after 13.5 years and just manage her pain until she can’t bear it any more, or should we fight this damn thing with everything we’ve got?
• Does amputation of a 13 year old 75lb dog even make sense or is it just plain stupid?
• Would this be the best thing for our baby girl, or are we doing this for us?
• What if her one good back leg isn’t strong enough?
• Holy crap, how much $$ is that?

Like it or not, this is the new reality. The reality where you get to essentially play god and decide the fate of your beloved companion’s life trajectory.

Here is what we know.

• The tumor is on the non weight bearing portion of her pelvis on her right side. It’s malignant and has done a lot of damage to the bone.
• The blood work and lung x-rays are clean, no visible metastasis
• Even though she is 13, Osa is in amazing shape, and doesn’t appear to have any arthritis in her other joints
• She still has a sparkle in her eye, and the appetite of a lab. This girl aint ready to quit.
• The radiologist and oncologist think it’s very likely chondrosarcoma, not osteosarcoma (on a side note rant, OSA is the acronym for Osteo? Seriously, wtf…not in THIS house!)
• The surgeon thinks it’s doable (based on the incomplete data set that x-rays provide), but a hemipelvectomy on a large breed 13 year old dog scares the crap out of me!
• We need to do a CT Scan and Biopsy if we decide to go after that sucker

That’s all for now.

 

 

The C word…CANCER. I’ll never forget the moment that I heard it, bone cancer to be more specific. It was barely audible through the sobs on the other end of the phone. The world slowed, then stopped, then started spinning. Fuck! That was one week ago today. What a week it’s been.

13+ years ago, we met one of the most beautiful little souls the world has seen. Osa was 8 weeks old when she and her sister were shoved under the fence at a rural shelter in the middle of the night. It could have been a terrible ending to the story, but instead it was one of the greatest things to ever happen to us. Two weeks later, we received the gift of pure love when she came to live with us.

Hundreds of hikes, camping and backpacking trips to the Cascades, beaches on the Puget Sound and Oregon Coast, about a million cuddle sessions, and countless wonderful moments later and here we are. The path to discovery of her tumor was a typical one, a minor limp that gets a bit worse, a “wait and see” diagnosis by our vet, wasting precious weeks waiting for improvement that never comes. Then the fateful x-ray reveals the savage, soul crushing truth. Osa has a malignant tumor in her pelvis. Fuck! So this is how it’s going to end?